Being in a long distance relationship isn’t the easiest, but let’s be honest with one another — what relationship is?
I’ve never really pictured myself as the long distance type (whatever the heck that means) but I never really counted it out either. Long distance for me just happened as it does for a lot of people. Life has a way of shaking things up when we least expect it, and well we either deal with it or we move on.
If you decide to deal with it then you can continue reading below — long distance isn’t for everyone so it’s okay to move on!
Welcome all of my “deal with it” peeps to the 5 ways to help your long distance love prosper. Let’s get to it!
1 | COMMUNICATION
It’s not enough to just communicate with your significant other, you want to really try to build trust from communicating. That mixed with consistency really helps build trust. I’ve found that trust is probably the most important block when it comes to building a good foundation for a long lasting relationship. Also, great communication allows one to feel more secure. Who doesn’t want to feel security with their partner?
2 | DATE NIGHTS
Things can get a little rocky while apart and you want to keep the spark with one another. Date nights are the perfect way to keep things spicy and exciting. My fiance and I face timed every single night and morning for a year straight. I know this sounds beyond obsessive but hey it worked for us. It made it feel like the he was right beside me all along instead of miles away. We considered these dates on some occasions. Insider: I would even do my makeup just to come on camera. We never really cared how anyone felt about it because it’s what worked for us.
3 | CLEAR UNDERSTANDING
There’s nothing worse than doing the long distance thing with someone who see’s it going nowhere or who’s not on the same page. Long distance relationships are truly a test that both individuals must be all in for. It requires 100% dedication from beginning to end and doesn’t work out well when one person is giving more than the other. This goes for any type of relationship in general. Early on my fiance and I established where we wanted our relationship to go and we both understood what we wanted to work towards. With him being 16+ hours away something needed to be established. I had a sense of peace knowing that we both were on the same page with things. No, I’m not saying you should get married the next day but you also don’t want to be tied down with someone for 5 years doing the long distance thing working towards nothing.
4 | ROUTINES
Once your schedule is set try and communicate this to your significant other. When the both of you understand each others schedule there is no confusion or misunderstanding for this. It’s helps to better understand times that may work to communicate. Please keep in mind that at the end of the day we’re all human and can’t plan or tell our every move. Be patient with your partner if things change or arise on their part or yours.
5 | KEEP THE SPARK
Whether it’s been days, months, or years things can go down hill for anyone. Find joy in your long distance relationship and give it all you got. Long distance relationships are not the end of the world and are possible to do. The question truly is — Are you willing to put in the work?
YOU MAY BE WONDERING
HOW LONG DID YOU DO THE LONG DISTANCE THING WITH YOUR PARTNER
My fiance and I were in a long distance relationship one year exactly. I’ll be honest it was the longest and hardest year for me. It’s hard to know that someone you truly care about is miles away. I frequently had breakdowns and would purchase tickets spur of the moment because I missed him that much. A lot of major changes took place in my life at the time and it was hard to get through them alone. It was a growing moment for the both of us and pushed us in many ways.
DID YOU ALL START IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
We started out in the same city dating one another. We went from seeing each other every single day to seeing each other every 60+ days. This was a major adjustment to get used to.
HOW OFTEN DID YOU ALL TRAVEL BACK AND FORTH TO SEE ONE ANOTHER
I would say every two months one of us would take a trip to see one another but sometimes it would be much longer than that.
HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH LIVING IN DIFFERENT STATES AND STILL BEING ACTIVE DURING THE HOLIDAYS
For us we would discuss early on where we wanted to be during that holiday. We both met in Kansas City but neither of us was actually born in the city. He’s from Philadelphia, PA and I’m from Saint Louis, MO. Imagine trying to decide between three places during the holiday season! –Crazy right? I took the opportunity to actually travel to Philly more because we knew the move would happen soon and it helped me become more acquainted with the city.
WHAT DO YOU FEEL WAS THE HARDEST PART OF BEING IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
For me I would say that the hardest part was actually not being able to physically see one another everyday. We had great communication during our time apart, which played a major role in the development of our relationship.
HOW OFTEN DO YOU SUGGEST TRAVELING TO SEE YOUR PARTNER
When it comes to travel that’s totally up to you and your significant other. Whatever you feel is going to help your relationship prosper, I would suggest going off that. Other than holidays we never truly planned our trips. It was more spur of the moment (such love birds) ha.
HOW DID YOU KEEP THINGS SPONTANEOUS/INTERESTING WHILE APART
As I stated previously we would have these “FaceTime” dates that kept things spicy. It was fun, different and something we did because we truly enjoyed it. We would also keep things spontaneous by surprising one another during our everyday routines. Whether that be through sending cute little text messages, an edible arrangement, or even long distance care packages. You name it — we did it. Ohh, I also liked to keep things a secret and surprise him once I saw him. That was pretty hard for me but totally worth the wait.
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLE THAT HAVE A NEGATIVE PERCEPTION ABOUT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS
I don’t want to sound harsh but I wouldn’t say anything to them. It’s your relationship and no one else’s place on how they feel about it. Period. They may not be able to do the “long distance thing” but you are.
PHOTOGRAPHER// MAMA PHOTOG | MUA// TA’NEISHA
LOCATION// KIMPTON HOTEL PALOMAR